How to Give Negative Feedback to a Coworker Without Destroying their Self-Esteem

Everyone hates to be the bearer of bad news. When you find that there’s something missing in a peer’s work, you’re likely to have a sinking feeling about actually going to them to tell them so. With that in mind, how do you give negative feedback? What are some ways to really take the bull by the horns and do this in a way that’s less painful than it would otherwise be?

Put Failures in Context

One of the best rules of thumb is to always start out on a positive note. Too many disgruntled workers think of their bosses as having some type of social deficiency when they come in complaining about their work right from the get-go. It’s infinitely easier for everyone to start with some of the positives, and move slowly toward any issues that you find with someone’s work.

Getting more context into the conversation can smooth out a lot of the issues with giving negative feedback. You can mention any mitigating factors, or look at the work of an entire team to really show a clear picture of what’s going on.

A Friendly Gesture

It also helps to show some human warmth when you have to go and talk to someone about something awkward about their work performance. That’s why so many true leaders are already operating from a place of strength when they have to give negative feedback. They’ve already built relational closeness with their teams, so people understand that they’re not coming by the desk to carp about random things. When you have people’s trust, they understand if there’s an issue, and they’re much more likely to respond well and help to start working it out.

Come Armed with Policy

Company policy is a major resource in keeping it clear that everyone in a company operates by the same rules. Policy is absolutely essential when you have a problem with someone’s work. Instead of just coming in and complaining about how they personally do their job, using policy will show that there is no favoritism involved, and that there is a concrete issue according to the ways that the company does business. Policy can spell out many issues, from productivity requirements to toxic conflict management, to dress code and other smaller items. Use the policy that you have as a resource, and if a critical policy is not there, start promoting it within the company.

Get More Stakeholders Involved

When there’s an issue, why does it always have to be an awkward one-on-one? That’s not to say you should round up a “firing squad” and pen someone in a room with multiple interrogators – that could be even more awkward. What might be better is a casual meeting with three people – or some kind of group meeting where there are more items on the agenda than just critiquing somebody’s work. Some managers even like to make some kinds of critiques department-wide, rather than naming someone publicly. All of this can also cushion the blow.

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